Save The Marriage - Why You Should Save The Marriage For The Children
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Getting separated or a divorced seems to be a very simple process, but it leaves a high impact on personal and family life of a person. The person undergoing this process may face lot of pain and stress and lose the personal as well as social stability.
It is extremely stressful experience especially for the children of divorcing parents, irrespective of sex and age. They may get mentally disturbed and their future may get spoiled. Hence, it is often advised to save the marriage for the children.
Usually, the world of children is limited to their parents and they are totally dependant on their parents for all their needs. What they require in their growing age is affection and protection from their parents. When their parents take the decision of separation, they emotionally may collapse and become restless.
When the problem of child custody arise in the court, it may become very difficult for the child to choose one of the parents with whom he/she is supposed to live with in future because the child loves both the parents equally. In case of underage child, the court takes the decision about the custody of child which may be forceful for the child. Hence, to protect the right of a child to have both the parents, you need to save the marriage for the children.
As the divorce affects the economical status of an individual, it might become difficult for a single parent to take proper care of a child. Since, divorce or marriage separation is not socially accepted in some countries, the child may feel embarrassing in the society. There may be some problems in emotional bonding of children and parents. A child of divorced parents might experience a feeling of intense anger, insecurity and loneliness.
The consequences of divorce affect almost every aspect of the children’s lives such as emotions and behavior coping skills, psychological development and the parent-child relationship. The children may feel helpless and lonely due to frustration which may lead to some health problems such as sleep difficulties.
There may be some destructive changes in children’s behavior such as alcohol abuse, drug addiction, violence or the attempts to suicide. Other behavioral problems include nervous habits, school problems or regressive behaviors like bedwetting or use of the comfort items including blanket or stuffed toys. Hence, before taking any harsh decision, find out some solutions to save the marriage for the children.
Once you decide that you should save the marriage for the children, you should start working on it. You can first find out the problems in your married life and ways to resolve them. When you come to about the problems, both of you should equally take efforts to solve them and save the marriage.
You need good communication to express your feelings and to listen to and understand your partner. You may take the help of your family or friends and get an advice from them. If this is not sufficient, you can go for marriage counseling which may help you to understand your problems and differences and suggest some solutions.
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2 Responses to “Save The Marriage - Why You Should Save The Marriage For The Children”
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Thanks for the important words about children. While I don’t believe people should stay married ONLY for the kids, I do think that is a good reason to stay together. It is just that the next step is to actually make the marriage one that is treasured, one that you want. Sometimes we get caught in the “stay together for the kids or go our separate ways for us.” How about “stay together for the kids, and make the marriage wonderful for us!” Just a thought.
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
author of Save The Marriage
Your blog is really nice and works as an advisor. Thinking from the point of view of children of divorcing parents is a very nice thing and explaining their difficulty is very kind thing.